(no subject)

[vernard]

I found out last week that my ex-wife is engaged to be married.

It actualy hit me pretty hard and I was quite disturbed.

I'm better now. Well, getting better at least.

Only mortal beings can believe in forever....

Comments

[dragonbride.livejournal.com]

I can understand how that can be hard.

But I have to ask:

Were you "hit hard" by the idea that she has moved on or the idea of the marriage that no longer exists?
Does that make sense? Is one part of you missing her or the idea of marriage?

[vernard.livejournal.com]

Good question. I asked myself the same thing over and over when I found out.

What hit me so hard was the fact that they she feels ok to move on and I don't. Its pure jealously and envy. I've been dating the lovely zorathenne for a bit over a year now and to some level it still feels like cheating. Even though I've been divorced for a couple of years now. But It still feels like I'm doing something wrong. I guess I took my vows a bit too literally. I have a tendency to be single-minded like that at times.

I used to say that I was Angry Bitter Divorced Guy. I even warned zorathenne about it too. I didn't want her to think I was something that I wasn't. I often wondered if I really should even try being in a relationship with someone with the head issues I have.

Only time will tell.

[dragonbride.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you need complete closure on order to move on.
And then some relationships aren't as easy to get over. Sometimes it can take years, sometimes you never get over it.
You have to find the steps to move on and that sometimes means doing someting that feels like crap. Like making a phone call or meeting to get some things out.
Unfinished business is like a weed unchecked in your head and heart.