Amusing but mostly true

My mother rarely sends me email. Thank goodness. She's one of those folks that thinks that email was created soley for her. She does do at least one thing right with respect to email and that is that she doesnt' forward every silly thing or "threat" that has been floating around the Internet for the last 20 years along to me to pass the info along. She figures that if I haven't seen it by now then odds are that its not all that interesting. Or dangerous. And for the most part she's right.

So I was quite amused when i found that she had forwarded the following to me. Its quite old but seeing as it still brought quite a chuckle to my face when I read it, I figured I'd share it for those of you that have not had the pleasure of it before.

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Atlanta, Georgia

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived
in Atlanta, has visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta,
knows anyone who lives in Atlanta, knows anyone who has ever
visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta,
Georgia.

Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets.
The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around
and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina. All
directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the
phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb
County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken
and..."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end
and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree
Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway,
Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Avenue, Peachtree
Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corner, New Peachtree, Old
Peachtree, West Peachtree, Peachtree-Dunwoody,
Peachtree-Chamblee or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home.
If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you
down Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here,
so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by
Coca-Cola. And even then, it's still "Coke." A carbonated soft
drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of
brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"

Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International
Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear
sneakers and pack a lunch.

It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the
street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a
"scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect, so that
out-of-towners don't feel lost...they're just on a "scenic
drive."

The 8:00 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 a.m. The 5:00
p.m. rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour
starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2:00 a.m. Saturday.


"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if
there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes
older than they are.

A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue one way,
so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply
tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta
pronunciation: "pahnss duh LEE-on."

The fall of a raindrop makes everyone forget all traffic
rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for
three days, and it's on all the TV channels and radio stations
as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery
stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet
paper and beer. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it
does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the
blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools
will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy,
which starts at 120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000
range. All roads, vehicles, houses - everything - is yellow
from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies, you
will die. But, other than that, it's a great place to live!

There are 5,000 types of snakes...and 4,998 live in
Georgia. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in
Georgia, plus a couple no one's ever seen before.

"Onced" and Twiced" are actual words.

It is not a shopping cart; it's a buggy.

There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's only dinner -
and, then, there is supper. 'Jeetyet?' is actually a phrase
meaning "Did you eat yet?"

You install security lights on your house and garage - and
then leave both unlocked.

The local papers cover national and international news on
one page, but need six pages for local gossip and sports.

You know whether another Georgian is from North Georgia,
South Georgia or Middle Georgia as soon as they open their
mouth (Albany = All benny).

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin'
wal-martin" or "off to Wally World."

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start
drinking it when you're 2.